In this week’s episode of Incredible Factor TV, my creative director Blake is back with one of his off the wall, call me on the carpet questions… but I obliged him and answered anyway.

Check it out:


I used to think I had to choose.
Love OR business. Not both. After all, “I couldn’t possibly have both. Something had to give.” Believe it or not, these were the casual covenants that I made as I bought into the hype that men would be intimidated by my success.

The truth is, they can be. And they were, because that is what *I* decided.

In my own life, the success I enjoy in business has always come easy, but success in a relationship… well, not so much. But it was my fault. I was always waiting for the shoe to drop, the guy to disappoint me or for him to care about what I did for a living. The fact is that I am not that girl, you know like the character Tasha Smith plays in the Tyler Perry movies, Why did I Get Married and Why Did I Get Married Too. I’m not a man emasculator. Never have been; never will be. So I had to shift my thought process and stop making casual covenants.

And most importantly, I decided. You see, once you decide, all of the Universe conspires to give you what you want. (Emerson, said that. :-))

And it is the truth. A decision is the catalyst for welcoming what you want into your life.

So, if you are like who I used to be and you’ve bought into the hype that you can’t have a thriving business and a thriving relationship, I am proof that you can.

Here’s how you can welcome the same:

1. Stop giving your past permission to speak. “The life you live is created by the story you tell.” – Abraham Hicks. Regardless of the number of failed attempts at having it all, you can make the switch as soon as you tell a different story. In my own life, I had to stop buying into the hype and realize that anything is possible. What story do you need to start telling?

2. Do your work. I truly believe and subscribe to the belief that you can have anything you want if you are willing to do the work. So, you have to work a relationship, like you work your business. Give it time, dedication, and focus, and do what you need to do to get the clarity. To get into the relationship of my life, I have been doing my work for the past five years. While that may seem like a long time, it’s like it’s nothing now that love has shown up.

3. Decide. This may sound contrite, but deciding is the catalyst to welcoming what you desire in your life. And it really is as simple as making a non-negotiable decision and backing it up with the work it takes.

4. Be happy and thriving now. Enjoy the evolution of your thriving relationship. Whether you see it today or not, know that it’s closer than you think when you act in accordance to your dreams and goals. By being happy and not allowing anyone to determine your happiness, you’ll make the shift. This is the key. You, alone, are responsible for your happiness. Don’t give anyone else that power. When you allow any man (or woman) to dictate your happiness, you are in trouble and you won’t achieve what you desire. This one was huge for me. As soon as I came into this realization and got my own happy, I connected with my love.

5. Do something that gets you closer to the goal. Whether it means asking for referrals for dates from friend and family, launching an online profile, reaching out to the one who got away: do something. And while you’re waiting, be clear that you are open to allowing.

The bottom line is, you don’t have to choose. You can have it all if you do your work! Here’s to having a thriving life, business and relationship!

©2015 by Darnyelle A. Jervey. All Rights Reserved. Darnyelle A. Jervey, MBA, The Incredible Factor Business Optimization Coach and Mentor, is the founder of Incredible One Enterprises®, Incredible Factor University® and the Leverage Your Incredible Factor System®, a proven step-by-step program so you experience financial and spiritual abundance in your life because of your business. For more information and a FREE audio CD “7 Critical Mistakes Even Smart Entrepreneurs Must Avoid for Clients, Connection and Cash Flow!” just fill out the form below.

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