one-trick-ponyI admit it. Up until about three months ago, I was a one trick pony.

Let me explain. I had a booming business and not much else. I worked day-in and day-out and I had very few outside interests… and as a result I was drowning in my life. I was frustrated and yelling (a lot) at my employees. It had gotten so bad that I started to see my longtime therapist (again).

But one day, I woke up and I was angry, bitter and ready to give it all up. And that is how I knew I needed help to get out of my own way.

Can you relate?

At my annual training event, Unleash Your Incredible Factor Live, I spoke my truth, right there on the main stage in front of 200 people. I was literally on the stage sharing about the categories of motivation that makes a prospect investment ready and when I got to the category of life balance, I broke. I spoke my truth because I know that many people pretend as if they have it going on, especially when their work is impactful, but my work was killing me softly. And I was sick and tired of letting it. I was by every stretch of the imagination a public success but a private mess. So I did something about it.

Having worked with many women in the C-suite over the years, I know that I am not the only person who was feeling a little lack luster about the mundane-ness of life. And I know that this is not you typical episode of Incredible Factor TV, but I know that this has the potential to bless you nonetheless.

In this week’s episode of Incredible Factor TV, I take a question from an attendee at the event, Valerie. Check it out:

“Hi Darnyelle. I was at Unleash this year and I so resonated with your comment about feeling like your life is one-sided. How do you find balance and make the shift from feeling like a one trick pony?”

See my response to Valerie’s question in this week’s episode here:

As I share in the episode, the first step is to DECIDE. Decide that you’ve had enough. Decide that you’re willing to make a change. Decide that you’re worth more than a one-sided life. Decide that you deserve to be happy and to focus on those things that make you feel happy, joyous and abundant.

That’s right, the first step is to decide.

Take back your life, become more than a successful, but lonely and uninteresting business owner.

Now, it might not be easy. You’ll have to get out of your comfort zone. And here are 4 tips that will help:

1. Get to a quiet place and get clear about what your TOTAL life vision looks like. I get that having a thriving business is part of it, but a thriving business won’t keep you warm at night. Warning: it may not be so easy to conceptualize what you truly want at the end of the day. Part of my despair had been because I didn’t have it yet. In this step, take as much time as you need. It’s that important not to rush it.

2. Decide to take a step (albeit small if need be) toward your life vision, one step at a time. Part of the reason we become “one trick ponies” is because it’s so easy to get stuck trying to figure out the entire picture at once. Whatever we lack becomes a magnifying glass and we feel like everyone can see that we are miserable and therefore we try to fix the problem in one fell swoop. But that’s not the right answer, the right answer is taking one step (large or small) toward your ultimate vision. In my case, this required me to get out of the house. It’s hard when you work from home to leave the house at the end of your “work day”. But it is a must. I started by taking a class that I’d always wanted to take. And it began to do the trick. First it was a class, then it was recommitting to my physical fitness and then it was joining a few groups that shared my interest.

3. Get some accountability. By bringing a friend whom you can trust to love you and not judge you into your process, you’ll get some accountability to keep moving in the direction of your true vision. Accountability will make sure that you keep progressing and don’t revert back to what’s comfortable.

4. No matter what, don’t give up on you. It will take work, but so does anything that’s worth it! You’ll thank yourself by not giving up by keeping it moving and finding new reasons to love your life everyday.

In all of this, take it one day at a time and celebrate the success in your business and your commitment to being more than a business owner. And be sure to check in and let me know, one former one trick pony to another. 🙂

Now I want to hear from you, what’s your two cents?: Do you feel like a “one trick pony?” Have you ever felt like you need more balance because having a successful business is one-sided and not a lot of fun? What have you done (or are you doing) to make the shift to get the most out of your life?

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