Someone recently said I seem to always have it together. I laughed. They, in their conversation with me, implied that I was fearless.
I’m not. In fact I believe you won’t be fearless until you die. Now, let me explain that every single one of us here on this green earth has fears. To say we are fearless is a lie. I have fears. You have fears. Oprah has fears. Having fears are natural. It’s how you let the fear dictate your life, that’s the problem.
There’s a lot of “Fearless Living Experts” out there and I don’t want to put them out of business, so let me say this….what I think people mean when they think about being fearless is that you’ve bridged the gap between your fear and your faith. You’ve figured out how to feel your fears but do it anyway. I know it sounds cliché but everyone who is successful vs. stagnant is doing it – there are feeling their fears but doing it anyway.
Now, I have done that “bridging the gap”, I mean. But it wasn’t easy. You see, managing fears is a test of the wills, if you will. Learn what I mean by watching this week’s Incredible Factor TV episode to answer Stephanie from Nebraska’s question:
“Hi Darnyelle, I love your videos, you’re giving me the courage to start my dream business. I love your energy and the way that you make concepts that are difficult easy. But even with all of your help, I still get fearful. And, when my fear sets in, I get stopped dead in my tracks and lose focus on working on my business. You seem to always have it together – How can I bridge the gap between my fear and my faith so that I can start my business?”
As I state in the episode, fear wants you to believe that where you are now is the safe place so your ego does everything in its power to keep you in your comfort zone. But life happens when we move beyond our area of comfort and get comfortable being uncomfortable.
If you live a long and healthy life, there are going to many opportunities for your faith to collide with your fear. So you’ve got to learn how to bridge the gap so that the fear will not stopping you from doing what must be done.
Here’s how I manage my fears:
- Look for evidence – I always ask myself, “Darnyelle is it possible that this fear could be false?” And “Where is the evidence to support this fear?” And you know what? I never find any evidence.
- Acknowledge the fears – I don’t believe in ‘fake it until you make it’. I believe in being true and real. Authentic. So I acknowledge that I am afraid. Then I ask myself, if I wasn’t afraid of this, what would I do? And I do that very thing.
- Get into the present – because fear is in the past or future but never in the present. I find my way back to what I know to be true for me in that moment – that I am smart, capable, talented, etc. and that rips the bottom of out my fear.
- Press through – I do it anyway. Even when I am afraid I still do it. It seldom turns out the way I thought it would. It’s usually better and completely in my favor.
- Think of moments when I felt loved – when I think of being loved, it makes me invincible, so I recall moments when I felt that way and it changes everything for me.
What say you? How can you help Stephanie bridge the gap? How do you handle a moment of fear? What strategies get you back on track as quickly as possible?
I can’t wait to hear from you. Leave us your two cents below.
©2013 by Darnyelle A. Jervey. All Rights Reserved. Darnyelle A. Jervey, MBA, The Incredible Factor Speaker, Business Coach and Marketing Mentor, is the founder of Incredible One Enterprises.com, Incredible Factor University® the Leverage Your Incredible Factor System® a proven step-by-step program for more clients, more income and more leverage in your business. For more information and a FREE audio CD “7 Critical Mistakes Entrepreneurs Must Avoid When Unleashing Your Incredible Factor So You Attract More Clients, Make More Money and Gain More Leverage” just fill out the form below.